In recent years, conversations about mental health have become more visible, but with that visibility has come a new problem, the rise of toxic positivity. The idea that one must always stay positive or look on the bright side often silences real emotions and stalls genuine healing. While optimism has its place, proper recovery from trauma doesn’t come from ignoring pain. It comes from rewiring the brain through safety, presence, and emotional integration.
Here are some insights on the topic as shared by Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing-
● Healing begins with safety, not smiles: The brain doesn’t heal through motivation quotes or affirmations; it heals when it feels safe. After trauma, the brain’s alarm system (the amygdala) stays hyperactive, scanning for threats. Real recovery begins when this system learns to relax again through safety cues, gentle routines, grounding touch, slow breathing, or compassionate presence. Telling someone to cheer up only pushes the brain back into defence, because it feels unseen rather than understood.
● Emotional regulation, not suppression: Toxic positivity often confuses regulation with repression. Regulation means allowing feelings to rise and settle naturally; repression means burying them under forced optimism. The part of our brain, responsible for reasoning, can only calm the emotional brain when feelings are acknowledged, not denied. Healing the mind, therefore, isn’t about thinking positive thoughts but about creating enough internal safety for difficult emotions to move through without shame.
● Integration is the real goal: Trauma fragments memory and emotion, leaving parts of the brain disconnected. Healing is the process of reintegration, linking thought, feeling, and bodily response into one coherent story. Every time someone says, ‘I shouldn’t feel this way,’ they reinforce fragmentation. The brain recovers when we allow all parts of our experience to exist without judgment, pain, anger, fear, and hope.
● The role of embodied awareness: Cognitive healing alone is incomplete. The body keeps emotional imprints that the brain cannot reason away. Movement, breathwork, or simply noticing sensations helps the nervous system discharge stored tension. When people skip this and cling to mental optimism, the body remains stuck in survival mode.
● The power of emotional neutrality: Instead of jumping from despair to positivity, the brain responds better to neutrality. Small shifts like ‘I’m open to feeling okay again’ work better than ‘Everything is great.’ This middle ground activates curiosity and safety rather than pressure. Emotional neutrality gives the brain space to recalibrate without resistance.
Remember, the science of healing isn’t about thinking yourself happy; it’s about helping the brain and body rediscover balance. Trauma recovery is not linear, and positivity, when misused, becomes another mask the mind wears to survive. True healing is quieter. It happens in the pauses, in gentle self-acceptance, and in the moments when we stop trying to escape our emotions.
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