December and January are months filled with surprises, holidays, celebrations, and outings. Alongside all this fun comes a time for reflection-looking back at what we have achieved throughout the year and making resolutions for the year ahead. New Year’s resolutions have become a major trend on social media. People create vision boards and plan exactly how they want their year to look by the time they reach the following December.
However, it is an open secret that very few of us stick to these plans for more than a few days or maybe weeks. To understand this phenomenon, which is why most of our resolutions fail or do not last beyond the first two months, we spoke to Dr Chandni Tugnait, Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach, and Founder of Gateway of Healing. Continue reading to know what she shared with us.
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Often, we are triggered by a sudden spark of motivation, thinking we can change our lives overnight. But as the days and weeks pass, we frequently slip back into our previous physical and emotional routines.
New Year Resolutions
Are you someone who writes multiple resolutions in a diary, creates a vision board, or maps out plans on a whiteboard to decide your future in December and as January passes, those plans are left behind and got blur? If so, do not worry; most of us share the same tale. As human beings, we love to plan and get excited.
Often, we are triggered by a sudden spark of motivation, thinking we can change our lives overnight. But as the days and weeks pass, we frequently slip back into our previous physical and emotional routines.
According to Dr Tugnait, “Making resolutions aligns with the fresh start that a New Year offers, as though the clock can be reset on goals and habits that may have fallen behind. But we often see that these resolutions do not make it beyond January, or in some cases, the first few months.” She further explained the primary reasons why we lose momentum with our New Year’s resolutions:
The Expectation of Overnight Change
Dr Tugnait underlined that when the clock strikes midnight, many fall into a fantastical thinking pattern. We believe that because the year has reset, our habits and issues will reset too. “It is easily forgotten that habits do not change simply because the date on the calendar does. Our expectations become so high that when they are not immediately fulfilled, we feel completely discouraged,” she added.Scepticism Towards Commitment
There is a widely accepted belief that resolutions are meant to be broken. With this mindset, people start taking their own goals lightly. This creates a failure mindset from the very beginning. “Even before a resolution is set, there is a belief that it won’t come to fruition; hence, the necessary effort is always lacking,” Dr Tugnait stated.
Rigid Resolution Parameters
When setting goals, we often forget that we will be the same people on January 1 that we are today. We set rigid parameters, ignoring that changing years of habits is not simple. Dr Tugnait noted that people often plan extreme changes, such as “‘I will wake up at 6:00 am daily and exercise without fail,’ or ‘I will lose 10kg in January.’ “Such resolutions demand too much from an individual suddenly, without any preparation buffer,” she noted.Becoming Readily Discouraged
We may follow through for a few days, but if we do not see substantial progress, discouragement sets in. Dr Tugnait explained, “This discouragement prevents us from seeing resolutions through to the end, because we come to believe that nothing will actually change.” Also Read: Beyond The 12 Grapes Tradition: Why Grapes Are The Ultimate Winter SuperfoodWhat Can Be Done?
It is easy to give up because doing so returns us to our comfort zones. However, to avoid this, we should not necessarily change our resolutions, but rather our approach and mindset towards them.
Speaking on how to fix this loop of failure, Dr Tugnait explained, “If you want to make waking up early a habit, give yourself some breathing room. Try waking up just half an hour earlier than usual for a few days, and gradually work your way towards 6:00 am. Do not start with your end goal as the first step; instead, create small, attainable goals and track your mini-achievements.” When you track your progress, you can see how far you have come and appreciate your own hard work.
“Treat yourself to that perfume you wanted as a reward for reaching a milestone, and set another incentive for your next goal. Share your progress with supportive friends and family,” Dr Tugnait suggested. Having a support system can be monumental because success is about consistency, not intensity.
Bottom line
During the first few days of January, we remain pumped up to change our lives. However, this external motivation, often fuelled by social media, frequently evaporates. This leaves you breaking the promises and rules you decided to achieve for the year. As Dr Tugnait shared, the habit of planning ahead is not bad; it is a natural requirement of the mind and body. What is wrong is the expectation that things will be fixed overnight.
FAQ
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Why did the New Year’s resolution fail?
Most of our New Year’s resolutions fail when they are fuelled by social media or external motivation from others. They often fail because they are not practical and instead only support our emotional impulses. -
Why does the New Year give me anxiety?
The pressure of sudden change, especially when people are still carrying unfinished emotions and dreams, is considered one of the major causes of New Year anxiety.
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