What is a weekend marriage; know its pros and cons from experts

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Love your partner but can’t stay with them under the same roof due to different lifestyles? Welcome to the world of weekend marriages where spouses see each other only during weekends. All you want to know.

One of the many reasons millennials are not taking the marriage route or delaying marriage is loss of independence. One of the spouses has to adjust to the other’s way of life and can be left discontented with their life post marriage. A couple may be deeply in love with each other but may lead entirely different lifestyles from waking up time to socializing habits, which could draw a wedge between them over a period of time. The trend of weekend marriages or separation marriages is becoming common in Japan where people see each other only on weekends and live life on their own terms during weekdays. They share family responsibilities but do not stay under the same roof for most of the days in a week. (Also read: 5 reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages)

“The concept of a weekend marriage is a growing trend among couples in Japan, where the couple waits until the weekend to spend time together. This trend allows them to maintain independence and independent lifestyles during weekdays while still having a shared lifestyle and commitment on weekends,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait is MD (Alternative Medicine), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer and Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing.

Can weekend marriages improve quality of relationship?

“I think people these days are loving the idea of individualism and do not in any way want to compromise that. When a person is in a relationship, this boundary is always present. You do not have to meet the person or talk to them every single day. Lives have gotten extremely busy and people love their personal time and space. However, marriages and living together intrude on this private way of living and couples have started to realise that their marriage would work better when they are not constantly with each other,” says Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager India for Gleeden.

Why are couples going for weekend marriage

INDEPENDENT LIVES

Dr Chandni says couples choose this arrangement for several reasons and one of the main reasons some of them prefer separation marriage is that it allows them to maintain their independent lives during weekdays without feeling isolated or lonely.

“During the week, each partner can pursue their hobbies and interests without interference from the other person, giving them more freedom and space to grow,” says the expert.

QUALITY TIME ON WEEKENDS

Another reason weekend marriages are attractive is that they provide more quality time on weekends when both partners have more energy and are less likely to be distracted by work or other obligations.

“Couples can spend this extra time engaging in activities they enjoy together, such as going out for meals, watching movies or taking trips, which helps strengthen their bond. Weekend marriages also give couples more freedom to maintain their own identities. Since each partner has their own space and life, it prevents them from being too dependent on one another emotionally and gives them room to grow as individuals,” says Dr Chandni.

WORKS BETTER FOR WORK LIFE

Dr Chandni ways weekend marriages can benefit couples with complicated work schedules, such as long hours or shift work as it allows them to dedicate time on weekends when they are less busy, so they don’t have to worry about cutting down their shifts or putting in extra hours during the week to accommodate a partner’s schedule.

FINANCIAL FLEXIBILITY

“Another benefit of weekend marriages is that it provides financial flexibility. Couples can avoid the costs associated with moving and sharing a place during the week, such as rent or utility bills. Maintaining separate homes allows them to save money for other expenses and investments,” says Dr Chandni.

Will weekend marriages work in India?

“Not really but you never know. India is a family-oriented society. Despite all changes, the people here value their family cultures immensely and prefer staying together or at least nearby. However, there is no denial in the fact that contemporary couples do understand that marriages are not a perfect piece of jewel and sometimes if a particular decision helps both partners stay sane and in love, they would not shy away from trying it out,” says Sybil.

“While the concept of weekend marriages is gaining traction in India, it is still not widely accepted. However, couples are starting to recognize the need for independence, space, and freedom. At the same time, they want to preserve the values and tradition of marriage by dedicating quality time together on weekends that would otherwise be hard to get with two busy lives during weekdays. The concept may appeal to couples who struggle to juggle a fulfilling relationship and their various professional commitments simultaneously. It also eliminates disagreements over lifestyle choices since each partner can focus on their pursuits during the week without feeling obligated or pressured by the other person,” says Dr Chandni.

Pros and Cons of weekend marriage

Weekend marriages might be a preferred solution for couples struggling with maintaining a successful marriage amidst their hectic schedules. Dr Chandni shares pros and cons of a weekend marriage.

Here are some pros of weekend marriage:

1. It gives each partner the flexibility and freedom to pursue their respective work and interests during the week while still maintaining their bond as a couple, allowing them to have more control over their own lives and foster deeper connections with one another.

2. It can also help couples stay on top of financial planning and investments as they don’t need to share a house and related expenses throughout the week. This allows them to invest in joint projects or save money for future goals without worrying about too much overhead cost.

3. It offers psychological support. Each partner has more space, which helps prevent communication gaps between them for them to understand better each other’s needs, wants, and ambitions and grow together as a team regardless of the various commitments or lifestyle choices.

Here are some cons of weekend marriage:

1. It is not widely accepted in India due to a lack of comprehensive studies showing the effectiveness of such arrangements.

2. Some couples prefer having their partner around in a shared home environment daily. Weekend marriage could make it difficult for those couples to adjust to this type of separation and potentially lead to greater tension if expectations are not managed properly.

3. There may also be logistical concerns depending on how far away each party lives and potential financial obstacles like travel costs if the couple cannot stay together at one location each weekend.