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We all feel fear, shock and disbelief every time we hear of a rape case. But when that brutality is mimicked by a child, it forces us to confront a far more disturbing question: where are we going wrong as a society, and what must we do to fix it?
The news from northeast Delhi’s Bhajanpura isn’t just a headline; it is a blow to the collective conscience of everyone. A six-year-old girl, lured to a deserted terrace and allegedly raped by three boys aged 10, 13, and 14. It is the kind of horror that makes the stomach turn and the mind reel. We are left grappling with a haunting question: How can children, barely entering their teens, commit such an unthinkable, heinous act? When we are still fighting with our children to eat their vegetables or put down their phones, the reality of this crime shatters the narrative of childhood innocence. There is no room here for the phrase “bacha hai, galti ho gayi”. This wasn’t a playground scuffle; it was a disgraceful violation of humanity. As parents, the terrifying question emerges: must we now explicitly tell our sons, “Do not dare to rape”?
A Broken Inner World
Dr. Chandni Tugnait, a renowned MD (A.M.), psychotherapist, life alchemist, coach & healer, explains, “When violence is committed by children, especially of such a young age, it unsettles us because it breaks the illusion that childhood is automatically innocent and safe. But understanding the psyche behind such acts requires moving beyond shock and into uncomfortable truth. Children do not act in isolation. Their behavior is shaped by what they see, absorb, normalize, and are silently taught.”
At ages 10 to 14, the brain is in a volatile state of development. “At that age, the mind is still forming boundaries between right and wrong, impulse and consequence. When children are exposed to sexual content, violence, abuse, or environments where boundaries are repeatedly violated, their inner world becomes chaotic. Curiosity mixes with power, confusion mixes with imitation, and empathy often has not been developed strongly enough to interrupt harmful action. This does not excuse the act, but it explains the absence of internal brakes.
A broken inner world
Many such children are themselves witnesses or victims of violence, emotional abandonment, or unchecked exposure via phones, media, or unsafe spaces. Acts such as this are not just a crime but a mirror. They reflect a collective failure in parenting, education, digital exposure, and emotional guidance. Prevention begins with providing children with early emotional literacy, safe environments, and proper caregiving and teaching them empathy long before they are capable of causing irreversible harm.”
One of the most significant contributors to this ‘chaos’ is unchecked digital exposure. If your child has a smartphone and an internet connection, they have a front-row seat to the most depraved corners of the human experience. Parents can no longer afford to let their kids decide the content they watch. Note changes in their behaviors, because only parents will notice these changes. A constantly closed bedroom door combined with a smartphone is a high-risk environment. Occasionally watch what they watch and ask questions about the YouTubers or influencers they follow. If you see them consuming content that demeans women or glorifies violence, use it as a teaching moment rather than just an opportunity to scold.
The Father as the Moral Compass
While mothers often carry the bulk of emotional labor, the onus of raising respectful men falls heavily on fathers and male role models. A boy’s first lesson in how to treat women doesn’t come from a textbook; it comes from watching his father. If a son sees his father disrespecting, belittling, or hitting his mother, he doesn’t just see anger, he sees an example of power. He learns that women are objects to be controlled.
It is important that fathers respect the NO. If a child sees his father respect a mother’s no, whether it’s about a small decision or physical space, he learns that consent is a non-negotiable boundary. Also, fathers must model healthy ways to handle frustration. If you lose your temper, apologize. Show your son that being a man means being in control of your emotions, not using them to intimidate others. We teach our sons to be brave and strong and feel immense pride in it, but we must also teach them to be gentle.
This incident is a mirror reflecting a collective failure. Prevention begins with providing early emotional literacy. We must teach our boys empathy long before they are capable of causing irreversible harm. Parents need to be more than just providers; they need to be investigators of their children’s inner worlds. Are they witnessing violence? Are they feeling emotionally abandoned? Are they learning that power is the only way to get respect?
The tragedy in Bhajanpura is a call to action. We cannot wait for society or the government to fix this. It starts in our living rooms, in the way we handle our phones and in the way we treat each other behind closed doors. Our sons must grow up knowing that respecting girls is not a choice; it is the baseline of being a human being.
Children are the future of our society, and this incident reveals a fundamental rot in the environment we have built for them. When the ‘future’ becomes the perpetrator of such heinous crimes, we must ask ourselves: What have we allowed them to witness, absorb, and normalize? This is not just a failure of three young boys; it is an indictment of a society that has failed to protect the innocence of the victim and the moral compass of the youth. If our children are learning to violate instead of protect, then the future we are building is one we should all be afraid to inhabit.
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