8 signs your partner is emotionally abusing you

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Signs of emotional abuse in a romantic partnership are not always easy to recognise. A psychotherapist offers tips.

Emotional abuse can leave a long-lasting impact on the psyche and make a person doubt their sanity. While physical wounds are visible, the emotions scars over a period of time can lead to a low self-esteem and mental health issues like depression and anxiety. It’s difficult to sense and acknowledge emotional abuse in a romantic relationship as one tends to develop attachment and dependence to their partner and may be scared to navigate life without them. However, not getting out of an abusive relationship or suffering in silence will only end up multiplying woes. The first step is to recognise the emotional abuse and then seek support from friends, family members and a mental health expert to put an end to it once and for all.

“Emotional abuse can be subtle and hard to detect, but it’s just as detrimental as any other form of abuse. Emotional abuse in a relationship refers to using manipulative tactics to control or undermine a person’s sense of self-worth, identity, and confidence. This abuse can be insidious and can come in many forms, including verbal insults, threats, isolating tactics, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing.

Impact of emotional abuse

Dr Chandni says emotional abuse can have a deep impact on a person’s emotional well-being and health and may cause mental disorders.

“It is a serious issue that can have long-lasting effects on a person’s mental and emotional health. Some of the symptoms of emotional abuse may include anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and a loss of self-esteem. In some cases, emotional abuse can also lead to physical abuse, as abusive partners often use emotional manipulation to justify their violent behaviour,” says Dr Chandni.

Emotional abuse can happen in any relationship and is not confined to just romantic relationship. A friend, a mother, a father, a teacher, or any other authority figure can cause it. It needs to be called out as such behaviour shouldn’t be tolerated.

Signs of emotional abuse

Here are some signs of emotional abuse in your relationship:

1. Belittling or constant criticism: This involves criticism that is excessive and demeaning. A partner who perpetually criticises, belittles, or insults their significant other is exerting emotional abuse.

2. Isolation from friends and family: An emotionally abusive partner might deliberately isolate the victim by controlling who they interact with, limiting their access to friends and family, or convincing them that their loved ones don’t care about them.

3. Control over finances and decision-making: The abusive partner may try to control various aspects of their victim’s life, like dictating their clothing choices, making financial decisions without consent, or not allowing them any input in significant decision-making processes.

4. Manipulation and guilt-tripping: An emotionally abusive individual employs manipulation tactics to make the victim feel guilty, forcing them to comply with their demands or feel responsible for their unhappiness.

5. Ignoring, silent treatment, or contempt: Emotional abuse can also involve ignoring the victim, giving them the silent treatment, or showing contempt for their feelings, opinions, and needs.

6. Verbal threats and intimidation: A partner who uses verbal threats or intimidation to elicit fear or compliance shows a clear sign of emotional abuse. This may include threats to harm oneself, the victim, or others and to end the relationship.

7. Gaslighting: This form of emotional abuse involves manipulating the victim into doubting their own memories, perceptions, or sanity, making them question their feelings and experiences.

8. Emotional neglect or withholding affection: Emotional abuse can manifest as emotional neglect or withholding affection and support to punish, manipulate, or control the victim.

“If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s vital to recognise that the situation is unhealthy and emotionally abusive. It’s essential to seek help from supportive friends, family, or professionals, like a mental health expert, relationship expert or life coach. Remember that everyone deserves a loving, supportive, and respectful relationship,” concludes Dr Chandni.