5 reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages

While a bad marriage can leave you scarred and have a serious detrimental impact on your mental health, people hesitate in calling it quits and moving towards a more positive life. Here are top reasons why people stay in an unhappy marriage.

While a healthy and happy marriage makes every day a fulfilling one irrespective of the challenges that come along in the course of daily life, a toxic or unhappy marriage can do the opposite – it can steal your peace of mind and force you to lead a life which you seem to have no control over. While a bad marriage can leave you scarred and have a serious detrimental impact on your mental health, people hesitate in calling it quits and moving towards a more positive life. There are many reasons why people choose to stay in an unhappy marriage and it can range from fear of change, comfort zone, money or even fear of ‘log kya kahenge’ (what people may think). (Also read: 4 reasons fighting is actually good for a relationship)

“When people think of marriage, happy endings are usually the goal. However, not all marriages are filled with laughter and joy. When couples find themselves in unhappy marriages, it can be  challenging to know what to do next. After all, marriage is a lifelong commitment,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (Alternative Medicine), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer and Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing.

So, why would anyone stay in an unhappy one? 

Dr Tugnait in a conversation with HT Digital talks about five of the  most common reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages:

1. Fear of Change 

It may seem counterintuitive, but many people in unhappy marriages  fear the unknown more than they fear staying put. Think about it this  way: leaving an unhappy marriage means facing a life without  someone you have been with for years — a life of change and  uncertainty that may be even more difficult to endure than the  unhappiness that comes with staying married. 

2. Comfortability

When we stick with something that we know — even if it’s bad for us —it can comfort us because it’s familiar and secure. Staying in an  unhappy marriage often falls into this category. However, it may not  be ideal; couples can become comfortable in their routine and habits  over time, no matter how unpleasant the relationship might be.

3. Finances

Money matters can play a huge role when deciding whether or not to  stay or go in an unhappy marriage. For some couples, divorce or  separation would mean splitting their financial assets into two  households instead of one. Sometimes, this isn’t feasible for those living  pay check to pay check or dealing with debt already. 

4. Hope for reconciliation

Sometimes, hope is enough to keep couples together despite their  unhappiness. If one partner still has faith that things will get better  eventually, they will hang on even when times are tough because they  hope they will eventually work out their differences and find happiness  again as a couple. 

5. Social or religious obligations

Getting divorced or separating is viewed differently depending on one’s  family background or religious affiliation (or lack thereof). In some  cases, ending a marriage is seen as a sign of failure or shame — and it  takes tremendous strength and courage to break away from these  expectations to pursue individual happiness once again. 

“Marriage is meant to bring joy and companionship; however,  sometimes, things turn sour. There are many reasons why people stay in  unhappy marriages ranging from fear of change to social/religious  obligations, but whatever the case may be – remember that your  happiness should always come first! Whether you continue down your  current path or embark on a new journey, consider your options  carefully before making any big decisions about your future,” concludes  Dr Tugnait.