Teaching Consent & Boundaries to Young Children

Reproduced only for reference to articles mentioning our name. All rights remain with the original publisher.

Most adults associate the concept of consent with adulthood, relationships, or sex education. But the truth is, the basics of consent and boundaries begin much earlier, right in childhood. It’s not about giving children complex lessons but about shaping how they relate to themselves and others from the very start. When kids learn that their voice matters, their body is their own, and their choices have meaning, they grow up with a stronger sense of self-worth and empathy. These early teachings become the groundwork for respectful, healthy relationships later in life. And the best part is that they can be taught in the simplest, everyday moments.

Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M), Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & healer, Founder & director of Gateway of Healing, shares some insights on the topic

1.  Start with everyday situations: Consent isn’t just about saying “yes” or “no” to touch. It’s about recognising comfort level, respecting space, and understanding the importance of mutual agreement. For young children, this can begin with something as simple as asking before hugging someone, “Would you like a hug or a high five?” It’s about offering choice and respecting the answer. When a child says “no,” let that no stand, even if it’s something small like not wanting to share a toy in that moment.
2.  Language shapes understanding: Children model what they hear. Replace vague phrases like “Be nice” with more explicit instructions: “Ask before touching someone else’s things” or “Check if your friend is okay with that game.” When adults use precise, respectful language, kids learn to do the same. Teach them simple scripts: “I don’t like that,” “Please stop,” or “Can I try?” These phrases may sound basic, but they empower children to speak up and listen when others do.
3.  Respect is shared: One common mistake is teaching children to be polite at the cost of their comfort. “Go hug Uncle; he came a long way” may seem harmless, but it subtly teaches that others’ feelings matter more than their boundaries. Instead, let children decide how they want to greet or interact. This slight shift affirms their right to bodily autonomy. At the same time, teaching children to accept others’ noes without taking it personally is equally essential. A child who knows how to hear “no” without anger is better prepared for healthy friendships and relationships.
4.  Repair & reflection matter too: Teaching consent doesn’t mean kids will always get it right. And that’s okay. When they overstep a boundary, say, grab a toy from a peer, use it as a moment to guide: “How do you think your friend felt? What could you do differently next time?” This isn’t about shaming but about helping them develop empathy and awareness, two core pillars of consent.

When we start these conversations early, we normalize respect, voice, and emotional intelligence. These children grow into adults who understand that consent is not a one-time lesson; it’s a lifelong practice. And that’s the goal: not to raise children who fear doing wrong, but children who feel safe, heard, and confident in their ability to navigate relationships with clarity, compassion, and respect.