Are you struggling to find lasting love? You might be chasing it instead of seeking it. Learn 4 key signs of self-sabotage and how to attract a true connection.
New Delhi: Love is a pure, kind and beautiful feeling. We all want to be loved and valued, which is why we often confuse ourselves and chase love desperately instead of seeking it. Chasing love tends to come from a place of neediness, desperation and underlying fears of unworthiness or abandonment.
Chasing is impulsive aggressive and almost predatory. On the other hand, seeking love arises from a healthier emotional foundation. There is an inherent understanding of self-worth and wholeness from within, with or without the support of a partner. Seeking emerges from a state of quiet confidence combined with vulnerability and hope. The energy is warm, open and inviting when you reveal your authentic side to attract like-minded connections.
Dr Chandni Tugnait, Life Coach, Healer, Founder and Director at Gateway of Healing shares a few signs that will help you tell that you are chasing the love and not seeking it.
Signs you are chasing love instead of seeking it
1. Rushing intimacy/commitment: Chasing love ignores relationship stage markers and tries to force premature bonding. You might plunge into physical intimacy immediately or make intense verbal declarations in the initial stage. Or you may hastily decide to move in together or get engaged, bypassing critical decision points. Seeking love means recognising relationship milestones happen gradually and organically. You can take time to measure the pros and cons of a relationship and then decide based on the actions taken and not the words shared by your partner.
2. Overlooking blatant red flags/incompatibilities: In chase mode, you downplay serious issues such as excusing behaviours that indicate different values, unstable moods/actions, passive-aggression, dishonesty, or other troubling patterns. You rationalise a partner’s harmful behaviours instead of asserting boundaries, which can later be a big problem in your life.
3. Craving validation through romantic interest/coupling: In chase mode, your self-worth heavily depends on having love and not being single. A potential mate’s reciprocal interest determines how desirable or worthwhile you feel about yourself overall. In seek mode, you know your value with or without being in a relationship.
Consciously avoiding the chase pattern leads to better connections. The rewards come when you have standards yet stay open-hearted. Chasing may seem to be fun and exciting at the beginning but can cost you your self-worth, respect and trust in others. Always remember, pace is rushed in chasing, but patient and gradual when seeking. If you identify with chasing patterns, self-inquiry on the root causes can set the stage for shifts toward seeking healthier connections.
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