‘Rs 370 Ki Biryani’ controversy tells us a lot about modern dating dangers; girls, take note

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A comedy club is usually associated with laughter, not life lessons. But a recent incident has turned one such space into an unexpected cultural talking point.

During Pranit More’s stand-up show, a casual remark from an audience member Himanshu Jangra, suggesting that spending Rs 370 on a date should come with expectations in return, quickly travelled beyond the room and went viral online.

What followed was a wave of outrage, memes and debate about modern dating norms, entitlement and gender expectations.

Yet beneath the jokes, memes and heated reactions lies a deeper psychological question: why do some people view relationships through a transactional lens in the first place?

According to mental health experts, the answer may have less to do with a restaurant bill and more to do with the beliefs people inherit about relationships, gender roles and emotional reciprocity.

When dating starts feeling like a transaction

Transactional thinking in relationships is often deeply ingrained rather than consciously chosen.

“Transactional thinking in dating is not new, nor is it always conscious,” she says. “It develops gradually, shaped by the environment a person grows up in, the relationships they observe, and the messages they absorb about what men and women are supposed to offer each other,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M) Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing.

Over time, this conditioning can lead individuals to subconsciously equate effort with entitlement.

“When someone internalises the idea that spending money, time, or effort on another person creates a debt, they are not necessarily calculating it deliberately,” Dr Tugnait explains. “They have simply never been invited to question a framework that was imbibed early and reinforced often.”

The hidden scorecard in modern relationships

The controversy around the Rs 370 remark struck a nerve because it exposed an unspoken belief system many people recognise but rarely articulate.

At the heart of it lies what Dr Tugnait describes as a “psychological scorecard”.

“The question that remains is: at what point did courtesy come to be perceived as an investment demanding returns?” she asks.

According to her, this mindset can quietly shape expectations in dating, where gestures of care begin to feel like transactions rather than expressions of interest or affection.

Why the casualness felt so uncomfortable

What made the viral remark particularly provocative was not just the content, but the ease with which it was expressed.

Dr Tugnait notes that this casual framing is what unsettled many viewers.

“What made this moment different was its casualness,” she explains. “There was no hesitation, no awareness that the assumption was even worth questioning. That casualness suggested that the entitlement was not just a private opinion – it was something the person felt entirely comfortable expressing in a public space.”

For many, she adds, the discomfort came from recognition – not novelty.

Why online outrage rarely changes behaviour

While social media backlash often feels immediate and powerful, Dr Tugnait cautions that it rarely transforms underlying belief systems.

“Public anger has its place, but it rarely changes the underlying belief system,” she says. “Someone who genuinely views dating as a transaction is unlikely to be reformed by a viral pile-on.”

Instead, she emphasises reflection over reaction.

“What actually shifts these patterns is self-reflection, honest conversations about expectations before they become resentments, and a willingness to understand where those expectations came from in the first place.”

The psychology of transactional dating

Dr Tugnait explains that transactional behaviour in relationships often stems from early conditioning and social learning.

People may unconsciously adopt the idea that emotional or financial investment must be “returned” in equal measure, creating a cycle of expectation and disappointment.

“The question is not only whether someone’s behaviour was wrong,” she says, “but what shaped it, and what would need to change for them to see relationships differently.”

What healthy modern dating should look like

According to Dr Tugnait, real connection cannot be reduced to exchange value.

“Real connection cannot be purchased, negotiated, or earned through expenditure,” she states.

She emphasises that dating is not a transactional agreement but a mutual choice between two individuals.

“Two people choosing to spend time together are not entering a commercial arrangement where one party accumulates credit and the other owes a return.”

Instead, she highlights emotional presence, curiosity and respect as the foundation of healthy relationships.

“Modern dating, at its best, is built on curiosity about another person, care that does not keep score, and respect that does not come with conditions attached.”

The real takeaway from the ‘Rs 370’ debate

While the incident began with a humorous remark, its viral spread reflects a deeper cultural conversation about how young people perceive relationships today.

For Dr Chandni Tugnait, the conclusion is clear.

“Real connection cannot be purchased or negotiated. Anything less quietly costs both people far more than Rs 370 ever could.”

And beneath the outrage, memes and commentary, one question remains: are modern relationships becoming more connected – or more calculated?

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