Most adults associate the concept of consent with adulthood, relationships, or sex education. But the truth is, the basics of consent and boundaries begin much earlier, right in childhood. It’s not about giving children complex lessons but about shaping the way they relate to themselves and others from the very start.
When kids learn that their voice matters, their body is their own, and their choices have meaning, they grow up with a stronger sense of self worth and empathy. These early teachings become the groundwork for respectful, healthy relationships later in life. And the best part is that they can be taught in the simplest everyday moments.
Dr Chandni Tugnair, MD (A.M) Psychotherapist, Life Alchemist, Coach & Healer, Founder & Director, Gateway of Healing shares some insights on the topic:
1. Start with everyday situations:Consent isn’t just about saying “yes” or “no” to touch. It’s about recognizing comfort lev else, respecting space, and understanding the importance of mutual agreement. For young children, this can begin with something as simple as asking before hugging someone: “Would you like a hug or a high five?” It’s about offering choice and respecting the answer. When a child says “no, ” let that no stand, even if it’s something small like not wanting to share a toy in that moment.
2. Language shapes understanding:
Children model what they hear. Re place vague phrases like “Be nice” with clearer instructions: “Ask before touching someone else’s things” or “Check if your friend is okay with that game.” When adults use precise, respect ful language, kids learn to do the same. Teach them simple scripts: “I don’t like that, ” “Please stop,” or “Can I try?” These phrases may sound basic, but they em power children to speak up and listen when others do.
3. Respect is shared:
One common mis take is teaching children to be polite at the cost of their comfort. “Go hug uncle, he came a long way” may seem harmless, but it sub tly teaches that others’ feel ings matter more than their boundaries. Instead, let children decide how they want to greet or interact. This small shift affirms their right to bodily autonomy. At the same time, teaching chil dren to accept when others say no, without taking it personally, is equally im portant. A child who knows how to hear “no” without anger is better prepared for healthy friendships and re lationships.
4. Repair & reflect matter too:
Teaching consent doesn’t mean kids will always get it right. And that’s okay. When they over step a boundary, say, grab bing a toy from a peer, use it as a moment to guide: “How do you think your friend felt? What could you do dif ferently next time?” This isn’t about shaming, but about helping them develop empathy and awareness, two core pillars of consent.
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