My wife hates me so much that I feel scared to sleep with her. She thinks I have ruined her life by being meager and she isn’t getting the luxuries that she deserves. The whole day she keeps taunting me and at night I lock myself in another room on the pretext on taking late night calls so I can sleep separately. I can’t handle so much hatred!
Query: My wife hates me so much that I feel scared to sleep with her. She thinks I have ruined her life by being meager and she isn’t getting the luxuries that she deserves. The whole day she keeps taunting me and at night I lock myself in another room on the pretext on taking late night calls so I can sleep separately. I can’t handle so much hatred!
Response by Dr Chandni Tugnait: Hi, thank you for writing to us. I completely understand how unpleasant this situation may be for you. The dynamics involved in love and relationships are often complex. However, no one deserves to be in a position where they feel redundant in a relationship. It’s tough when you feel like your wife hates you. I’m sorry to hear that your wife feels this way. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like she may be feeling overwhelmed and disappointed. It’s important to remember that marriage is a partnership, and both partners need to be on the same page when it comes to different aspects of life & relationship, including finances.
Sleeping in separate rooms is not a long-term solution. The best thing to do in this situation is to have an authentic conversation with your wife and address her concerns. Communicate your love to her and find ways to nurture this bond, mutually. It’s important for both of you to understand each other’s needs and work towards building a better relationship and a better life. If your wife is used to a luxurious lifestyle, it can be tough to adjust to a more modest one. One way to ease this transition is by communicating openly and frequently about money matters. Talk about your financial goals and see if there’s any room for compromise. Perhaps there are certain areas where she can continue to enjoy luxury, while cutting back in other areas. If you and your wife are honest with each other about your needs and expectations, you’ll be able to find a middle ground that works for both of you. There are plenty of ways to live a luxury lifestyle on a budget. It just takes a little creativity and ingenuity. For example, you can splurge on special occasional items instead of expensive every-day items, or take advantage of free or inexpensive entertainment options in your area. Get creative and see what works for you.
It can be tough when we feel like we’re not measuring up to our partner’s expectations, especially when it comes to financial matters. There are a few things to keep in mind here. First, it’s important to remember that everyone has different needs and wants when it comes to luxury items and purchases. Just because your wife might want or need something doesn’t mean that you are responsible for providing it for her. She can contribute to the finances as well. Getting a job or starting a business will also help her feel good. Secondly, even if you could provide your wife with the luxuries she desires, it’s important to consider whether or not that would make her happy long-term. Often, people think more material possessions will lead to happiness, but research shows that this might not always be the case.
It’s important that both of you evaluate your reasons to be in this relationship and work towards making it a better one. If that doesn’t work, you may need to seek help from a relationship expert to help resolve the issue.
Take care of yourself in the process. Process your emotions and don’t let this impact your self-worth.
Lastly, I would recommend that if you are unable to process the thoughts, emotions, stress and the confusion around the situation, do consider seeking therapy. Don’t shy away from asking for help. I hope this helps!
Stay Blessed!
Dr. Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing, with centres in Gurgaon and Faridabad.
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