Be it in personal or professional relationships, ghosting has become very common. For the uninitiated, ghosting is when someone you care for stops all communication and cuts all cords suddenly. It’s when someone decides to walk away and disappear just because they don’t wish to deal with the pain they would inflict on their partner when they break up.
Ghosting is a form of emotional abuse as the sudden rejection causes deep disgrace and invokes feelings of rejection and abandonment in the other person. It is often accompanied by low self-esteem, confusion, self-criticism, anger, and anxiety, with no room to understand what happened and how to cope with it. Ghosting is clearly short-sighted as it may spare the person from the initial discomfort of having a difficult conversation, but in the long run, would make it unpleasant to the one ghosting as well.
Ghosting seems like an easier option when one is in the middle of a difficult situation with their partner. With the rise in popularity of online dating sites, ghosting has become more common than ever. Being ghosted can be a traumatic experience and one shouldn’t try to discard their feelings as irrelevant. Instead, take time to process the gamut of emotions that surge when you’re ghosted.
So, how to deal with the pain of being ghosted? How to get over it? We reached out to Dr. Chandni Tugnait, Psychotherapist and the Founder of Gateway of Healing, and asked her to share her advice on the same. Read on to know all that she shared!
1. Accept The Situation
Do not waste your time and energy in overthinking and or indulging in self-blame. Accept the situation and the fact that you may never know why you were ghosted in the first place. Don’t yearn for closure. Accepting the situation and acknowledging the pain helps in coping with the downward spiral of thoughts and is the first step towards recovery.
2. Self-Care
Be compassionate to yourself. Take care of yourself; pamper yourself. Watch your favourite show, listen to your favourite music, paint, read books or book a day at the spa or salon to feel rejuvenated.
3. Brain Dumping
Brain dumping is a great coping skill. Take a journal and jot down all your thoughts, fears, and feelings. Allow your thoughts to flow freely. This helps in decluttering the mind and curbs overthinking while enabling the processing of thoughts and emotions.
4. Practice Gratitude
Make gratitude and appreciation a part of your life. Say it out aloud. Appreciate your body, your phone, your sneakers, your beating heart–every big and small thing that adds value to your life.
5. Exercise, Meditation & Breath Work
Daily exercise and meditation for 10-20 minutes are known to have a profound impact on calming the body and mind and in releasing stress, worry, and anxiety. Exercises coupled with deep breathing are stellar for mindfulness.
6. Let Go To Move On
Move at your own pace and process your emotions in order to let go and move on from the traumatic experience. You can confide in friends, seek help from an expert, try a combination of therapies or bask in self-care. Letting go is never easy but check in with yourself if you really wanted a relationship that wasn’t healthy in the first place. Allow time to heal.
Do not dismiss or disregard your feelings as suppressing them can lead to fears, addictions, and depression in the long run. Seek help from a professional who can help you cope better in case you are not able to find comfort in your sacred space or with your loved ones. Remember, you are worthy of love.
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