10 phrases to tell your partner ‘you hurt me’ [Expert advice]

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Hurt can be expressed without blame or negativity! To help you communicate your pain constructively and move towards a deeper connection, this article offers expert-approved 10 gentle yet powerful phrases. Build bridges in your relationship instead of accusing each other. New Delhi: Effective communication is essential in any relationship, be it personal or professional. When feelings are hurt, constructively expressing oneself can pave the way for healing and understanding. In a relationship, both people must be understanding about each other’s needs and understand how communicating things is as important as expectations. Even in the closest relationships, pain inevitably arises when expectations aren’t met or insensitivities occur. But rather than resentfully accumulating hurt or exploding in blame, one can discuss wounds compassionately to deepen bonds. This artful vulnerability requires tempering raw emotion with empathy.

Phrases to communicate ‘You hurt me’

Dr Chandni Tugnait is a Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder and Director of Gateway of Healing shares some phrases to communicate effectively when you feel hurt

1. “I felt hurt when…”: This sentence stresses the way you feel without accusing the other person outright. It allows you to express how their actions affected you, which can lead to more fruitful and compassionate discussions.

2. “My feelings were deeply affected by…”: This sentence mandates their attention to your emotional knowledge, allowing them to connect with and empathise with your point of view.

3. “It pained me to experience…”: This is a polite method of expressing anger that may open the door for understanding. It accepts pain without blame-shifting, which is important for genuine communication.

4. “I’m struggling with how to process…”: This shows that you are experiencing emotional distress as a result of their behaviour. It’s an invitation for the other person to comprehend your inner issue and potentially assist you in resolving it.

5. “It’s challenging for me to understand why…”: Here, you’re expressing a desire to understand the other person’s perspective. It shows that you’re open to dialogue and are interested in resolving the underlying issues.

6. “I need some time to reflect on…”: Sometimes, expressing hurt isn’t about immediate resolution but about taking the time to process your emotions. This phrase communicates that you’re affected by what happened and need space to understand your feelings.

7. “Your words/actions had a significant impact on me…”: This expression is direct yet non-confrontational. It states the effect of their behaviour on you, paving the way for a deeper discussion about actions and consequences.

8. “I feel unseen/unheard when…”: Feeling ignored or overlooked can be a profound source of hurt. This phrase communicates these feelings and can lead to a conversation about mutual respect and understanding.

9. “I value our relationship, so it hurt when…”: By starting with a positive affirmation of the relationship, you set a constructive tone. It shows that resolving this hurt is important because of the value you place on the relationship.

10. “I’m finding it hard to move past when…”: This indicates that an incident is still affecting you, and you need to address it to move forward. It’s a way of inviting the other person to engage with your feelings and work towards healing.

These are some of the common phrases one can use to communicate his or her feelings of how they feel and how bad they feel about something that has affected them. The goal is to express vulnerability while requesting reconciliation, not demanding an apology. The aim is mutual understanding and prevention of future hurts, not winning an argument. Centering care, safety and responsibility allow hurt to strengthen intimacy and create a better bond for future.

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